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© Kith of Yggdrasil 2004 |
ISSN 1745 - 4891


THE QUARTERLY JOURNAL OF THE KITH OF
YGGDRASIL
Issue 4 Harvest Edition
September 2005
CONTENTS
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EDITORIAL |
Page
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1 |
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NEWS SECTION |
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News from the Hearths |
Page
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2
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MAGAZINE SECTION |
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A Legend Too Far by
Mike Robertson |
Pages
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3-6 |
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Book Review |
Page |
7 |
| On
Being a Heathen by Lyn |
Pages
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8 -9 |
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As Above: So Below by
Mike Robertson |
Pages |
10-12 |
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Portrait
Gallery |
Pages |
13-14 |
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The Saga of Sven the Voyager |
Pages |
15-16 |
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Editorial Policy and the Submission of Contributions |
Back Cover |
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Contact Information |
Back Cover |
EDITORIAL
Next month sees our
Gathering in London, with its opportunity for members of the Kith to
get together, ask questions, listen to talks, participate in debates
and even to buy heathenry-related goods (is a gathering truly a
gathering without stalls?)
Although it is being
held in the heart of London at a time when other groups seem to be
abandoning their projected meetings, we thought it was important to
continue with the event despite the potential threat. For one thing it
is no part of our belief system to give in to those who want to limit
our lives and cause fear – often because of what are at best
half-truths, and are at worst distortions of how we function as a
people.
Under these
circumstances we consider it necessary to carry on with our intentions
and not to bow to outside pressure – or even to our own natural
hesitation.
So we hope that all
those who can join us on October 1st will do so, while
respecting the decisions made by those who aren’t able to be there.
The important thing
will be that we are continuing, knowing that we have the support of
all the Kith.
In this edition we
had hoped to have Part Two of Alan’s series on the Runes, but this has
to be put on hold while he and Freya settle into their new house –
which is always a total upheaval. I’m sure everyone will wish them all
the best and happiness in their new home.
We also have what
will probably be the last of Sven – unless he really does turn out to
have been immortal. I haven’t actually calculated how old he must be
by this episode, but he is venerable indeed….
Lyn

HEARTH
NEWS
London and the Home Counties
As
some of you will know, Alan and Freya have moved from Harlow in the
north of the area to Orpington in the south, and this has obliged us
to rethink our activities in the area, quite simply thanks to the twin
problems of time and travel.
So what we have decided to do is to cancel the monthly Mailcoach pub
moot, for we could not guarantee our own attendance - and it would not
be very bright to offer people a chance to meet us, and yet not be
there ourselves!
Instead we are making the monthly Blot an open event, so that anyone
interested in finding out about the Kith can come along, see what we
do and also have a chat.
The Blots will be held in Highgate Woods, and we will meet in the
Woodman Pub, either on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. The actual
dates will be shown in both Frostfire and Sunwheel, and
also in the Stop Press section of our website.
The Kith Annual Gathering
Remember that tickets for the Gathering, to be held at
Treadwell’s bookshop in central London on October 1st,
cannot be bought on the door.
To obtain yours, contact Mike at the address on the
back of this magazine.

The old front cover
motif appearing here for what will probably be its final outing.
Back to
Top
MAGAZINE SECTION
A Legend Too Far!
By Mike Robertson
The other day I was asked the following by one of our members:-
“Why did Sif get associated with the harvest?”
Adding:
“I
know the cutting of her hair is supposed to be the harvesty bit, but
given that Loki did it, and Thor got very annoyed, it doesn’t seem to
make a great deal of sense”.
The problem with such a question is that a search of our various
legends does not answer the question, there are hints it is true, but
all too often they are conflicting, and more conducive to further
questions, if not a nervous breakdown, than helpful.
I’d therefore suggest that the problem all too often lies within
ourselves, for we are looking for definitive source material, yet we
are seeking it in a mish-mash of legendary material from a variety of
ages, and written by those not of necessity sympathetic to our faith.
This at once leads to the realisation that to seek a comprehensive
guide to our faith within the written sources is a waste of time.
Rather we can look for clues, and from those clues develop the
information we need. Here it might be an idea to think about our faith
as a jigsaw, with the picture rather tattered and torn so the end
result is not clear, and with some of the bits lost or damaged: hold
this thought, for I will be returning to it.
There is something else as well: our faith is not a revealed religion
where all the necessary information is laid out for us, and all we
have to do is believe and obey. Rather it is a religion where though
we share our faith, it is incumbent upon each and every one of us to
develop our own understanding in our own time and way: be that from
study, our own experience, meditation or whatever.
It’s now that I get
lynched, for I’d suggest that far too many of our faith fellows are
seeking immutable facts within our legends and, whilst knowing
everything of such facts, are not looking to our faith as a whole, or
even beyond what is written in the various books. Too they are
ignoring the fact that our legends are sourced in fragments from many
lands and spread over many centuries, and as mentioned above are not
of necessity written down by those in accord with our faith, or even
comprehending of it. So rather than relying upon the legends of our
faith, I’d suggest that those legends contain sufficient clues for
each and every one of us to do our own work, and arrive at the answer
that will enable us as individuals to progress upon our unique
spiritual path. However they do not of necessity offer the easy
answers we all too often seek.
So now I will
try to offer an explanation which makes sense to me: but my
explanation might not be your explanation, so I expect contradiction
and argument - which is a good thing, for it enables us to refine and
clarify our own thoughts. Please also accept that I’ll be drawing upon
a variety of sources and ideas, and in the space of this article
cannot develop each and every one of them fully.
First we must accept that our legends are based upon an oral tradition
which sought to offer a good memorable story. Further that such
kennings as ‘Golden Hair’, can easily be seen as a reference to the
golden corn of the harvest. We must also accept that in a
pre-scientific age, our legends sought to give an explanation for what
was going on in the world, be it the march of the seasons, or the
simple changing of night and day.
Secondly, Thor. He is the great maintainer of Midgard, always doing
battle with those kin of our deities, the giants - the giants being
those implacable forces of nature which if uncontrolled would destroy
this earth and its ability to support life. Yet at the same time those
forces of nature are, when controlled, necessary for that same life:
hence their continuing relationship and intermarriage, socialisation
etc with our deities. So Thor spends much of his time maintaining the
necessary balance that will enable life: this leads to the products of
that balance such as the golden harvest, as signified by Sif’s golden
hair. This in turn leads to the idea that Sif is the ideal symbolical
partner or wife of Thor. At this point it is worth thinking about the
deaths of the Midgard Serpent and Thor at Raganarok, which were
possibly necessary to permit the end of the balance which had been so
long maintained. This in turn allows the chaos a time of supremacy,
from which will emerge the new post Raganarok state of being.
Now to that most vital of beings, Loki. I do not see Loki as a deity,
rather as the inspiration that imbues all things and can, depending
upon the circumstances, be good or bad. This is why he was the
constant companion of our deities and both gets them into trouble and
out of it again. Yet despite all the problems he continued to be their
companion - which seems rather odd, but isn’t really odd at all, since
he was the inspiration necessary to progress. Yet that inspiration
needed to be controlled, just as it needs to be controlled today:
think on why he was bound and not slain when he went a bit too far.
A simple story to illustrate this, as true today as it was when the
legends were first spoken: that of the binding of Fenris Wolf.
Envisage now Fenris as being nuclear energy: an energy which can offer
light, heat and medical treatment, yet on the other hand can destroy
whole civilisations. This is an energy which must be bound, if its
benefits are to be reaped, yet that binding comes at a cost, and as we
know that cost was the hand of Tyr. The clue here is that instead of
taking the easy option and slipping a killing spear into Fenris he was
bound even at great cost to Tyr.
To take this a step further, Fenris was the offspring of Loki, the
product in fact of that inspiration which is so necessary for all
things: hence the continuing relationship between Loki and our
deities. Now linked to the concept of inspiration is also the idea of
chaos should that inspiration not be controlled. So Loki is often
rightly seen in our legends as a combination of those two factors:
inspiration and chaos. Hold that thought, for I’d suggest it is
essential to an understanding of many of our legends: certainly those
involving Loki. Here I must make it clear that I do not see that which
is represented by Loki as being good or bad: rather as a potential
which must be controlled, be it the Loki in our own being, or the Loki
accompanying our deities.
From the above it is, I’d suggest, a simple step to account for the
loss of Sif’s hair, by attributing it to the actions of Loki: for
something must have caused the arrival of autumn and, in that
pre-scientific age, why not blame Loki: for after the good times of
summer will come the chaos that is winter?
It is at this point that we get back to Thor, and he with his role of
maintaining the balance of this earth, so ensuring the turning of the
year and a new spring, and of course a new harvest (that is a
re-growth of the golden hair) puts the frighteners on Loki and they
all live happily ever after!
For us however it is not quite so simple, for the reasoning I’ve
cobbled together tells us much about our faith and of course this
world we inhabit.
An example here would be the ‘golden wig’. Now a wig can be removed at
night and put on in the morning: thus the micro of day and night can
be replicated by the macro of the turning year, which in turn leads us
to the end of this state of being that is Raganarok, and the emergence
from chaos of a new state, which will be the post- Raganarok creation
which we know of from our legends.
This must inevitably lead us to think about our own death and rebirth,
and the mechanics of life and death.
When the time is right Thor must release chaos through the mutual
death of himself and the Midgard Serpent, and make possible the birth
of what comes after; when the time is right for us, our inner Thor
force must mutually die with our inner Midgard Serpent, and from the
chaos of our own death will come our subsequent rebirth into our next
stage of being.
So what on the face of it is a great story about our faith, is in fact
a repository of much that is essential to our comprehension of our
religion and what it is all about. This in turn leads to the bad news:
whether you agree with me or not about its meaning is of little
consequence as there is no escaping the fact that each of us will find
it necessary to do our own work, and so develop our own comprehension
of the truths within the legend.
Sorry but it gets worse, for as we all find, as our comprehension of
our faith develops, so our understanding changes: here to use the
above as an example, when I first came to the legend it was a great
fun story telling me about the passing of the seasons. Now it is a
much deeper thing, leading me to struggle with a comprehension of the
meaning behind our deities, and of course the mysteries of life and
death. Whilst it is still an amusing story, it has become a portal to
much more: and I think that as I delve further, there will be new
depths to be explored, depths which in turn will change my
understanding of our faith.
Yet this is but one of many legends, each with their multifaceted
depths: and where will they lead me?
I’d mentioned the jigsaw,
I now hope that the above shows how, to my own satisfaction of today,
I’ve assembled a part of the jigsaw by combining various bits gleaned
from reading, my own observations and meditation. However I do not yet
know where that part assembly fits within the entire jigsaw: that will
be the product of further work, and if I’m really being honest, areas
of our faith which I have not yet studied – there are so many legends
and so little time.
Because I’m at a
particular point upon my own spiritual journey, the revelations to be
sought within the jigsaw will relate to myself, and myself alone. The
effect of this is that others sharing the same faith, will be seeking
and finding the revelations that are right for them at this point in
their unique spiritual journey. So whilst we can share ideas and
information, we cannot always share the same revelation.
So what does this mean for our faith?
Quite simply we must eschew the so called experts, or those who would
set themselves up as priests/priestesses, and rather look towards the
eastern religions where spiritual leadership is based upon the
fostering of debate, the sharing of knowledge, and encouraging each
other to progress upon our individual path to that shared destination.
Which means in turn that I’ve not answered the question that was put
to me; rather I’ve offered some thoughts that are entirely relevant to
myself, and my own development. Leaving it to my questioner to test
those thoughts, and relate them to their own experience and spiritual
development: the cosmic joke being that if they think them a load of
rot, my contribution has been to make them think about their faith.
©JMR 8th August 2005
Back to Top
Book Review
The Viking Trilogy
by Tim Severin
I have just read the second volume of the trilogy,
VIKING: Sworn Brother, and would say that it is not just a good
fun read, it also tells much about the ways of our ancestors with
particular reference to their faith, and such aspects as the runes and
seidr.
Tim Severin has a feeling for the life and times of our ancestors, and
this enables the spiritual aspects of the story to be set against a
realistic perspective, which is something all too often missed in
books that, on the face of it, are more directly relevant to our
faith.
The book itself is loosely based upon Grettir's Saga, although it is
in fact the story of his oath brother Thorgils Leifsson.
VIKING; Sworn Brother
by Tim Severin Publisher: Macmillan 2005 ISBN: 1 4050 4114 5
The first book in the trilogy was: VIKING: Odinn's Child.

On Being a Heathen
By
Lyn
Our hearth was recently confronted with a situation which was hard to
understand, but which at the same time caused us to look again at what
our boundaries are, and what lies within, and what without, even our
very flexible limits. I thought it might be worth sharing, as it
raises questions which I guess are a part of most followers of the
northern tradition living within a culture which is not aware
(largely) of our existence and tends to blur the lines between all
spiritual paths.
We are based in the west country – an area not famous for its hearths,
but definitely containing more than its fair share of pagans of most
types. The Witches’ Museum in Boscastle is perhaps the most famous
aspect of this amongst the wider community.
We also have a lot of new age people who are seeking a place to
belong, but who are undecided about their beliefs and enjoy trying out
new things (no problem with that – I guess we’ve all been there), and
who eventually settle on eclecticism as an acceptable spiritual path.
Isis mingles with Astarte, Brigid rubs shoulders with Pan, and if
anybody had ever heard of him Tapio would be taking tea with Ganesh.
Given our own version of eclecticism (the discerning among you will
recall our recent article on Zen Odinism) at this point you might be
wondering at my tone. I will deal with this, she said severely, later!
But the difficulty arose for us when we had someone who wanted to join
the hearth and who, despite our kindly informing her about the
required reading list – totally northern – and despite our mentioning
constantly that we were an Odinist hearth, appeared to be afflicted
with deafness. After some time, however, we were forced to point out
to her that her dislike of the runes was, whilst not definitive,
perhaps a hint about her general direction in life and that the Golden
Dawn was not, strictly speaking, an Odinist organisation.
We parted company at that point, but it was a strange time, and
probably one which can only occur in smaller groups.
Our boundaries, as I’ve said, are flexible and we aren’t enthusiastic
about trying to wipe away a thousand years of additions to the
collective unconscious, but we discovered that we had limits. “A
breakthrough”, the more traditional of you will be saying with relief.
True, but even before this we knew a couple of things – one of the
most important of which is that if you start mixing your pantheons you
can easily cause offence, especially if you mix them out of ignorance.
The Northern gods are the Northern gods – they aren’t the Celtic
branch, and they aren’t the Egyptians either. There might appear to be
similarities, but there are reasons why they have different names and
live in different places – they aren’t interchangeable. The Northern
gods aren’t even fully compatible with the Finnish gods – and they
live next door.
To believe anything other than this is, probably, to be more than half
way to monotheism – if Freya = Venus then why bother with both (or all
their sisters)? Why not total up all the ‘war’ gods and use one name?
In the end, why not mix the whole lot together, because these days
gender has no real meaning, and just have one god? You might argue,
with some justification, that I exaggerate the case, but the point I’d
like to raise is that we need to know why we are with the
Northern gods, why it matters that they have their own names and their
own qualities and attributes.
We belong to an organisation which is about exploring what we believe
and why we believe it, and why we accept no substitutes. Initially, of
course, we might belong with our gods because we felt that it
was the right place to be; we
might continue with them because we come
to believe that loyalty and commitment is more important than
gratification, or because this path satisfies our souls in a way we
haven’t found before; but we need to know why this path and not any of
the others, and we need to open up the discussion of this, within
ourselves as individuals and within our group.
Our departed
hearth member gave us this impetus, so we should be grateful to her –
and to the Golden Dawn (or ‘final straw’ as I like to think of it!).
Oh yes, about the Zen bit. Odinism has a lot of strengths, it induces
strength of purpose, makes us take personal responsibility for our
actions, introduces us to a lot of interesting people, and means that
we have a framework which makes sense of the real world, rather than
giving us notions about how nice the world could be if only..[fill in
your own wish list].. and so on. It also gives us unparalleled
opportunities to drink a lot of mead and carry out much toasting and
boasting, which is good up to a point.
The point beyond, however, is the space which interests
us. We regard it as a frame of mind which most resembles the thing
which is called Zen, and which could be called something else if we
could find an appropriate Norse word for it.
A Buddhist would be looking for loss of ego, we’re
looking for Odin the Wanderer.
Which is another article….

Back to Top
As Above: So Below
By Mike Robertson
A problem with our faith is that so many of its adherents have been
raised in a Christian environment, and to some extent have a Christian
mind set. The consequence of this is that all too often our deities
are seen as but heathen replicants of the Christian deity, although
there are rather more of them. This approach will naturally influence
heathen thought and ways, and lead in turn to a focus upon the deity
rather than the individual whereas I would suggest that the focus
should be upon the individual rather than the deity. This leads to the
first question: why?
In the Christian tradition, if the individual believes the right
things as laid down by their faith and obeys the precepts, they will
attain heaven. This is I know an oversimplification, but it will
suffice for the moment.
However as heathens we are engaged upon a spiritual quest to access
the god force that is latent within all of us, so that in due time we
attain unity with the mystery.
Thus as a heathen it is my task not just to obey the rules and think
the right thoughts: rather I must work and study to access that latent
inner god force, and this puts the onus entirely upon myself.
Which leads to the next question: in that case what is the point of
the deities?
To answer this I must point to certain similarities between the realm
of the gods and that of our own being:-
In each case there is a creation: be it the creation legends of our
gods, or our own conception and birth.
For both there is a
time of development, learning and exploration, even the bringing
together of the various aspects of a personality to become entire.
Here I would cite the war between the Aesir and Vanir, and our own
struggles to become an entire individual throughout our lives.
Then there are the various struggles of life, it could be Loki
creating a problem for the gods, or our own over-enthusiasm for speed
leading us to crash the car. So just as the deities were obliged to
develop their own discipline (as evidenced by the binding of Loki and
the sacrifice involved) so we too must develop our own
self-discipline, and face the sacrifice of binding some of our own
urges and desires.
This in turn leads to the maintenance of the being: as an individual
it is their own body, and the environment in which it operates. For
the deities it is the maintenance of the entirety of Midgard, and the
worlds of the mystery might in which it operates.
Also we can look at the
qualities of the gods: Odin’s desire for knowledge and experience, or
Thor’s strength and dependability; Sif telling us of the seasons, or
Nanna the constant spouse. All these things are replicated in our own
lives, and all have lessons for us.
Then, as with
our deities at Raganarok, we too will one day face our own death and
dissolution: when we, like the gods, will return to the mystery. Think
here about the necessity of Thor’s death - he with his strength held
Asgard together and defended it, until the time came for him to die.
Like him, we too must allow our strength to stand aside and allow our
death.
However, that is not the end since our legends tell how certain
aspects of the god force remain after Raganarok and embark upon a new
state of being. In the same way, people also survive Raganarok by
sheltering in Yggdrasil the world tree, that repository of the spirit.
This is not the paper to debate the post mortem experience,
re-incarnation even, but the concept of some form of continuation is
made clear in our legends, and is true for both our deities and
ourselves.
I appreciate that the above is a gross over simplification, but it
does show a clear parallel between our existence as individuals and
the greater, or macro, existence of our deities.
Hence the heading to this paper, with its suggestion that each and
every one of us is treading the same path as that of our deities. To
put this another way, our gods are all aspects, and forces of one
inspiration - an inspiration which exists to ensure the continuation
and development of the realm of the worlds linked by Yggdrasil, just
as we are an ‘inspiration’ intended to ensure the continuation
and development of that being which is ones self.
This suggests that within us are all the forces of the gods, though we
might not be aware of that fact or have access to that force: thus
Loki will be inspiring us to good and bad ideas, Thor will be giving
us strength, common sense and defence against the frost giants of say
disease, Frigga will be developing our caring side, and so on.
So as an adherent of our
faith I’m trying to access these inner god forces, for they might be
termed the tools with which I should be working, and to use those
tools I must develop the necessary skills. Though by study and
meditation, rather than in a workshop. To do this I also have a
manual, the legends of our faith: for those legends will guide my
faltering steps upon my quest to be one with the mystery. Odin will
tell of knowledge, and experience, Tyr of the need to sacrifice in
order to overcome (as in the legend of Fenris Wolf). Though a man I
will study the feminine mysteries with Freya, and seek to preserve my
health with Idunna: just as Thor will show me how to be a man
and defend that which is mine. Yet Thor, as with the legend of his
recovering Mjollnir, will also show me that manhood is not just macho
posturing.
The deities
are exemplars for my own life. Through them I can work towards
becoming a complete being. However they do much more, for they tell me
of my spiritual path, the path which will one day unite me with the
mystery. As a simple illustration of this, it was Heimdall who
discovered the runes, as in our own time we must all discover them,
but that is not enough. Merely to discover the runes is to have some
rather nice symbols and not much more: it was Odin who by his
sacrifice of self to self discovered the inner meaning of the runes.
Or I can look to Thor who did not take the easy road, but struggled
through the mighty river to his destination: showing that my way ahead
is not that of taking the soft option. The lesson here is that it is
not enough to merely worship our deities, I must emulate their
struggles to learn and develop my powers: for such powers are not
handed out as some sort of gift, rather they must be worked for.
There is something else, a Christian might look to their god to get
them out of a bad situation but the deities of our faith will not come
to our aid. They have given us the free will to make or not make
mistakes, to be responsible for our own lives and for the decisions we
make. However, they have shown us how to lead our lives, and develop
upon our spiritual quest. They enable us to see how in a world of free
will there will be occasions when things go badly for us and there is
nothing at all we can do about it: war, famine, flood, for example.
But whilst they will not rescue us, they have shown us how to respond
with courage and fortitude, so that even if we should die out of this
state of being, there is a further state, and the lessons learnt here
will not have been wasted.
The above is very different indeed to the Christian concept where
there is an all powerful deity in control of everything, where there
is conflict between faith and the actuality when disaster strikes
which carries with it the suggestion that God has turned his back upon
his people, and that they have displeased him.
This means that whilst engaged upon a spiritual quest, we are in fact
alone and will not be saved, or for that matter abandoned by a deity.
Rather we are given free will, and the chance to make of it what we
will: however we are also given the resources to face adversity with
courage, and guidance as to how to develop upon the spiritual plane.
This suggests to my mind that we do have a strong and coherent faith,
which is capable of withstanding the questions and doubts that always
arise. Our deities can never fail us, for having given us free will
and their own powers in potential, it is up to us, and us alone.
However I would suggest that our deities have in fact given us rather
more than the Christian God offers his adherents. For whilst they have
to face the struggle for life dependent upon an apparently capricious
all- powerful deity, we have been given the tools with which to tackle
those self same problems.
©JMR September 2004
Portrait Gallery
For those of you who
haven’t had the pleasure of seeing what some of us actually look like
(and need to know before arriving on October 1st!) we
present a small portrait gallery.
I believe that being photographed steals part of the soul, so I’m not
presented here… (Trust me – you’re better off not knowing).
All the
photographs in this section are © Mike Robertson, 2005

Captured on film – Mike concealed by his
cloak, and clutching his spear and drinking horn, as dusk gathers.
Note the traditional ‘knee’ motif.

Assembled in the
woods are Alan, Claire, Freya and Warwick – and looking very cheerful.

From Mike’s
Stonehenge adventure comes this group of German pipers and drummers.
Unfortunately we can’t bring you the music, but I’m assured it was as
impressive as the musicians look.
Back to Top
THE SVEN SAGA CONTINUES…
The publication of
further extracts from the Saga were put in jeopardy when Mavis
Cuttlebright vanished earlier this year: sadly it is now almost
certain that she met her doom whilst a guest of the Lord of
Summerisle. Confirmation of this must wait upon the forensic
examination of the burnt wickerwork and remains, certainly animal and
possibly human, discovered in the ashes found upon a headland
overlooking the Minch.
Hamish Donnachaidh thinks that her visit to the island was in some way
a consequence of her entering the Black Room of Ben Dhui, which had
not been entered since it was sealed after the battle of Culloden by
the 13th Laird. The 13th Laird was as you will
recall a devout Mason and Master of the Royal Highland Lodge with its
connections to Rosslyn Chapel and was mentioned by name in the Da
Vinci Code.
The good news for us is that, amongst her effects, Mavis had left
enough information for her work to be continued by her sister Sharon
(who has given up her work in a call-centre, so that she can
commemorate her sister in this way).
Hamish Donnachaidh is delighted that this further extract can now be
published, for it possibly resolves the question of Sven’s apparent
longevity. For scholars have been debating whether Sven was in fact
just one man, or if the sagas attributed to him reflect the lives of
several.
The saga confirms that Sven did make his way to what is now Holland,
and spent several nomadic years in Europe and perhaps the story of
those years will come to light at some later date. However it is clear
that at some point he was residing in Nurenberg, where after the
closure of his wild boar and sauerkraut cheese business by the
authorities, he took employment with one Albericht, as what we might
now call a butler and general factotum. Albericht at the time was
famous throughout the central Germanic States for his love philtres
and, according to the Green Book of Munchen it was his philtres that
enabled the House of Hapsburg to persist and rise to fame.
However there was another
side to Albericht and he is today widely famed as
the father of alchemy, thanks to his
search for the philosophers stone and the secret of the well of
immortality*.
*Editor’s
note: the records of his work are now held in the state archives in
Baden Baden, and by a decree of the Bundesstag are not
available for consultation.
Apparently Sven prospered in his new career, and soon became
Albericht’s right hand man, and a confidant of the family: especially
of the beautiful Rapuntzal. Rapuntzal is a noteworthy figure in her
own right, for she was the custodian of her father’s library, and used
a special high chair to reach the upper shelves: a chair which had to
be lowered so she could converse with Sven and other visitors to the
library. The story being remembered in a bowdlerised version to this
day, in the saying ‘Rapuntzal let down your hair’. As we now know,
instead of hair it should really be ‘chair’.
Sadly for Sven his affair
with Rapuntzal was unable to advance, possibly as a result of the
ravages of his earlier life, and the demands that Helga the Hot Headed
and Morning Dew had made upon his once robust constitution. As you
will appreciate, this caused Sven
no little concern, while Rapuntzal entered upon a veritable decline.
It was then
that Sven took the fateful decision which would lead to his longevity
and to our knowledge of his life and times: he would purloin a potion
from Albericht and so ensure his vitality and restore the fair
Rapuntzal to her former happiness.
It was then that, misled by his imperfect grasp of Germanic lettering,
Sven confused the words for ‘endurance’ with ‘long-lasting’, and so
with virility untreated, yet longevity assured, he entered upon the
next stage of his long and interesting life. For it transpired that
Rapuntzal was with child, and that without the aid of any potion or
philtre: an event that filled Albericht with a rare and towering rage.
Poor Rapuntzal, her name changed to Heloise, was consigned to a
nunnery, and the new born infant given the name Schicklegrubber was
despatched to a poor but honest family in the Austrian town of Linz*.
And Sven was once more obliged to embark upon his travels.
*Editor’s Note: this last is causing considerable interest amongst
historians, for it is possible that Sven was the originator of the
line that lead to the most famous of Austrians and without whom World
War 2 would not have been possible.
It
is at this point that the saga no longer continues. Sharon was
persuaded to abandon her historical enquiries in order that she might
help a middle-aged, but ruggedly attractive, professor of Symbological
Synergy decode a text which, if allowed to be publicly known would
cause the downfall of the Mothers’ Union and the Townswomen’s Guild.
It is alleged that the life of excitement promised by
this pursuit - including being chased across desolate mountains by the
armed branch of these organisations, chained up in caves opening on to
tidal lochs by albinos (a type of rabbit), and stealing an array of
hitherto unknown stealth jets from the U.S. military – turned poor
Sharon’s head.
Mavis’s life-work is lost. We are left in ignorance. Blame
Sharon

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